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Wedding Customs and Traditions
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Marriage has existed almost as long as civilization itself. It is a universal
institution where couples are joined for the purpose of founding and maintaining
a family. The union is regulated by society and it's laws, customs, beliefs and
attitudes. Marriage is probably found in so many different societies because it
satisfies so many basic and personal needs. For instance, it supplies a
sanctioned framework for sexual activity. Marriage, of course, satisfies
personal needs for affection, status, and companionship. Until modern times,
marriage was rarely a matter of free choice. In most societies, marriages were
prearranged and carefully regulated. This can still be found in some cultures.. Depending on where you live, your religion,
and other factors, customs do vary.
The Ring
According to some customs, the wedding ring forms the last in a series of gifts
which also may include the engagement ring, traditionally given as a betrothal
present, and the promise ring, often given when serious courting begins. Other
traditions seek to expand the idea of a series of ring-gifts with an eternity
ring, which symbolizes the renewal or ongoing nature of a lasting marriage.
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A European tradition encourages the engraving of the name of one’s intended
spouse and the date of one’s intended marriage on the inside surface of wedding
rings.
People once believed that a vein of blood ran directly from the fourth finger on
the left hand to the heart. (This belief allegedly dates to the 3rd century BC
in Greece.) Because of the hand-heart connection, people named the vein vena
amori, Latin for “the vein of love”. By wearing rings on the fourth finger of
their left hands, a married couple symbolically declares their eternal love for
each other. This has now become a matter of tradition.
The White Wedding Gown
The tradition of wearing white at weddings began with Queen Victoria at her
wedding to Prince Albert. Queen Victoria was not the first royal bride to wear a
white wedding gown, but the first of the modern era. White had been a
traditional color of royal mourning, and although not often utilized as such,
white was not considered a suitable choice for a royal wedding. Victoria's
choice popularized the white gown as no other had before her. Previously, brides
wore their best clothes or the most expensive new clothes they could afford.
Gold or gold-threaded dresses became popular with royal brides; the
rank-and-file wore dresses that reflected their station. White was one of many
choices, pastel shades were also popular.
The term Bridal Gown originates from the word 'al' which means 'party' combined
with Bride (Bridal - i.e. Brides Party Gown). Originally in the Middle Ages
wedding parties were simply called Bride-al's.
The Wedding Cake
Tradition may dictate that the bride and groom feed the first bites of cake to
each other. This may symbolize the new family unit formed and the replacement of
the old parent-child union. Other guests may then partake of the cake, portions
may be taken home or shipped to people who missed the festivities. A portion may
be stored, and eaten by the couple at their first wedding anniversary, or at the
christening of their first child.
The origins of the tradition of the wedding cake are hard to determine. Sweets
are traditional at many celebrations for most if not all cultures world-wide.
Ancient Roman records detail sweets distributed at weddings. Medieval and
Renaissance resources also mention large cakes at weddings. Such cakes may have
been fruitcake. A large cake can take a long time to make, and without modern
refrigeration, a heavy fat and sugar frosting may have prevented spoilage by
limiting moisture exposure. Another possibility is the use of sugar and fat
satisfied the need for conspicuous consumption for the families involved in the
wedding.
The Ceremony for a Traditional White Wedding
Traditionally, the side on which people sit depends on whether they are friends
or family of the bride or of the groom. The front rows are generally reserved
for close family or friends, with the very first seats reserved for the bridal
party. However, in many ceremonies the bridal party will remain standing at the
altar during the ceremony along with the bride and groom. The groom and his best
man wait inside the church for the arrival of the bride and her entourage.
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The following is a typical processional order:
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The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the grandparents of
the bride and groom to their seats.
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The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the mother of the
groom and mother of the bride to their seats.
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The bridesmaids enter, escorted by the groomsmen.
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The maid or matron of honor enters, either by herself
or escorted by the best man.
The ring bearer enters.
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The flower girl enters. (In some ceremonies, the ring
bearer will accompany the flower girl.)
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The bride then proceeds down the aisle, escorted by
her father, to the accompaniment of music, and the ceremony starts.
The Reception at a Traditional White
Wedding
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The bridal party lines up in a receiving
line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves. Usually snacks or
a meal are served while the guests and bridal party mingle.
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Often the best man and/or maid of honor
toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes;
sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts. Champagne, sparkling cider,
or nonalcoholic carbonated drinks are usually provided for this purpose.
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If dancing is provided, the bride and
groom first dance together. Often further protocol is followed, where they dance
first with their respective mother and father, then possibly with the maid of
honor and best man; then the bride and groom rejoin while the parents of the
bride and groom join the dance and the best man and maid of honor dance
together; then other attendants join in; then finally everyone is entitled to
dance. Dancing continues throughout the reception. Music is sometimes provided
by a live band or musical ensemble, sometimes by a disc jockey with stereo
equipment.
Some other traditions include:
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The money dance or dollar dance,
at which guests pay a small amount of money to dance with the bride or groom. In
some cultures, the money is pinned to a special apron worn by the bride. In
others, the money is collected by friends, who sometimes give a shot of alcohol
to each guest as they pay. This tradition is common in the U.S. Midwest, but
considered tacky in other regions.
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The cake-cutting ceremony: the
bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter--often a special silver keepsake
cutter purchased or given as a gift for the occasion--and cut the first pieces
of the wedding cake. They then entwine arms and feed each other a bite of cake.
In some social groups, the bride and groom smear cake on each other's faces at
this time. In other social groups, this would be considered vulgar.
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The tossing of the bride's bouquet and
garter: The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to a group of all the
single women present. Whoever catches it is supposed to be the next to get
married. Similarly, the groom tosses the bride's garter to the single men, often
after removing it from her leg, to the amusement of the guests. Sometimes the
man who catches the garter is supposed to put it on the leg of the woman who
catches the bouquet. Sometimes the garter is sold in a raffle instead of being
tossed. In some regions of the U.S., this is considered tacky.
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Clinking of the glasses: Guests
will often clink their glasses during dinner to ask the newlyweds to stand up
and kiss. Some couples pass out bells for guests to ring instead of clinking
glasses.
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Gifts are not opened at the reception;
they are either opened ahead of time, sometimes displayed at the reception, or
if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at
the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
sources:
wikipedia.org, Compton's Interactive Encyclopedia 1997 |
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